ONYE ARA (The demented)
The scene is inside a commercial bus (danfo).The bus is in motion.
Conductor: passengers hold your hundred naira o!i no get change.oya make una dey pay my moni (the passengers pays their money to the conductor but the conductor forgets to collect money from a man among the passengers.
lady: conductor, (points to the man) dis man neva pay him moni o!
Conductor: (To the man) mr man,pay moni.(man ignors him) I
Say pay moni nah!(man is silent again) sha you think say you fet carry my moni go? Nah lie be dat.your juju no go work inside dis danfo.pay moni joor!(man remains silent) see if you no pay my moni i go fight you o!
Man: (slaps the lady who had reported him to the conductor and then slaps the conductor)why do you want to collect money from a mad man like me?(laughs lunatically as the driver stops the bus immediately and everybody jumps out of the bus except the driver who restarts the engine and drives off.
Man: Driver,didn't you hear what i said? I said i am a mad man and you are still in the bus driving.(Driver ignors the man) Driver,i am talking to you.okay,stop here for me i want to alight.(Driver still ignors him)If you dont stop for me to alight at this bus stop i will bite you.
Driver: (laughs scary and lunatically) praise the lord! I don see my family.mr man,meself be mad man and my hobby be biting.
Man: is this a joke or what?
Driver: Nah joke but nah serious joke because you no go remain the same after i don bite you today .see i don bite bull dog,German sherpherd,Nigeria dog,calabar dog..after i don bite you you go carry ringworm,pimples,hiv,ebola..if you come die God and satan no go fet sabi your face.oya make we begin dey bite ourself.
Man: (frightened) Ah! Please sir,i am not a mad man,i am not your family and will never be your family in Jesus name.i can not bite.It was only a joke...
Driver: (laughs more scary and lunatically)so you think say you fet fool me? You no won pay moni you come dey form madness.Today you go know say madness pass madness.Today we go sabi who be the master of madness.(stops the bus and grabs the man by his cloth) oya, on our mark!set our teeth!....
Man: (screams) Somebody help!
THE END.
Written by P'che obasi.
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Hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work
ReplyDeletevery funny.madness madness madness
ReplyDeletelaugh out loud
ReplyDelete